When last we met, Tenchi was apparently killed by “Ryoko” as
Doctor Clay laughed from his spaceship.
As mentioned in the previous review, this whole Clay
conflict is HIGHLY reminiscent of the Kagato conflict from Episodes Five-Six,
which was also referenced during the Yakage conflict in No Need for Tenchi
Volumes One and Two. Now back in Sword Play, I called on an old friend to help me
out pointing out the similarities between the fights. What do you say Dan? Are
you finally sobered up?
Sounds good to me!
We pick up exactly where we left off, with “Ryoko” killing
Tenchi, down to the same music and everything. However, just like in Episode Six, Tenchi isn’t dead!
Also, keeping up with our Star Wars theme, Ryoko’s lightsaber also borrows Ben Burt’s sound
from the movies.
As we can see, Zero/ “Ryoko” is happy that she did not kill
the man who she met 24 hours earlier and proceeds to teleport out of the room.
“Now THAT’S cute!”
“Huh?”
“Washu!”
“If I take you with me…”
“…then I won’t have to kill Tenchi!”
Wow, you go “Ryoko!” You’ve actually achieved your goal!
Or did you?
“What are you going to do with that? Gonna take that wittle
dolly to Doctor Clay?”
Wait…what?!
“I had no idea that he went for that sort of thing.”
Are…are you implying that Doctor Clay is into Washu sex
dolls? Ugh.
“Because if it’s a gift, I can put a ribbon on it for ya!”
“How did you know about all this? I thought the link with
you was cut off for sure!”
She checked out your ass Zero. You know, typical Mother/Daughter
stuff.
“…I guess the Gems are real, aren’t they?”
Are you referring to the Crystal Gems or Jem and the
Holograms, because Zero only has ONE gem…and sadly yes, the Jem and the Hologram movie is real.
The thought of the live action Jem movie has made “Ryoko”
pissed enough to throw away the Washu doll Washu inexplicably created out of
nowhere.
“That does it!”
It seems like it is finally time for this showdown to
happen!
“I’m ready!”
However....
“THAT’S ENOUGH!”
Oh no! The spoilsport
patrol is here!
“No more violence! I won’t allow it! Not in this house!”
If this were an action movie, this would be where “Ryoko”
blasts a hole through the house to get around that wordplay.
“Ryoko” then puts her hands up and Force pushes the Princess
and her guardians.
“I find your lack of
faith disturbing!”
Wait…Azaka and Kamidake being forced into the wall…
Ayeka then shows the most concern she has shown yet in this
show:
“HEY! That’s MY room!”
Poor Azaka and Kamidake. On that note, poor Nobuyki for
having his house destroyed…again.
What kind of clever retort will “Ryoko” quip back with?
“Don’t get in my way! If you do…I WILL kill you!”
Damn, “Ryoko” don’t shiv!
However, we do not get to see if Ayeka would fight as Tenchi
wakes up.
“NOOOO! Tenchi…Tenchi!”
She leaves the house, leaving Tenchi and Ayeka utterly
confused as to what the hell is going on.
Tenchi’s ears are so
off model that he could pass as Mihoshi’s brother…if she HAD a brother…which is
just silly.
And then Washu pulls a cabbit from her breasts.
“We are going after her! Ryo-Ohki?”
“If you were in your
adult form, I’d be dead from suffocation…and yet you are still not as flat as
Ayeka.”
“…my God, she’s
right!”
“Oh dear…here we go again!”
You know it’s something when even the characters recognize the
pattern.
“But you are going to come with me…aren’t you Ayeka?”
I’d just like to point out that Washu’s crab mode is at its
peak. Seriously, look at her head. The bow completes the look.
Well…she is being asked about it Dan. Let’s hear her reply.
“Well…I guess I couldn’t leave her…not looking so awfully
pitiful anyway.”
I should have you drink out of principal, but this is too
damn exciting. Why? CHARACTER GROWTH! Ayeka has come a long way since Episode Five. There is no hesitation in her voice. She is going to do this for Ryoko’s
sake…or who she THINKS is Ryoko.
“WHO’S THAT POKEMON?
It’s Krabby!”
I stand corrected. Ayeka knows that it isn’t Ryoko but is
willing to help anyway. Does that detract from her character development?
Probably not, but it is worth noting.
“What the hell is
going on tonight? Where are we going? Why am I awake? Who’s a copy? Nobody
tells me anything anymore.”
Cut to space, where we aren’t even afforded a shot of
Ryo-Ohki transforming this time around. We hear that Tenchi is finally caught up to speed.
“Did you say that wasn’t the REAL Ryoko?!”
“Well those gems are real, so Ryoko is probably still
alive!”
…but she only has one
gem…
We then cut to Washu apparently playing a game of Starfox:
However, she picks up on some battle energy so pinpoints the
source.
“It’s Mihoshi!”
“Yes! I wonder how she found them.”
“She’s a genius! I swear it!”
In a moment we all should savor, Tenchi decides to take
action and DO SOMETHING!
“If that’s where Ryoko is held prisoner, we should storm the
place and get her!”
This is a big moment for Tenchi. He is no longer reluctant
about fighting to save his friends. This is his life now and he has accepted
it. However, Washu doesn’t seem to think it is necessary until she can figure
out where Clay is. I mean…it’s not like he has a chapel throne room like
SOMEONE I know.
“I’ll find that bastard Clay!”
Tenchi is starting to get impatient.
“Oh, come on! How can
you know my father? You don't even know who I am. Oh, I don't even know what
I'm doing here! We're wasting our time!”
“Why don’t you hang on a second there while I pinpoint his
location?”
We then see Mihoshi is ALSO playing Starfox against Clay’s attacks.
“Now that’s a very
capable evasion!”
Although Mihoshi’s flying skills are impressive, it looks
like her only option is to crash herself into Clay’s ship and fight her way to
the Shunga that was captured herself.
“AHHHHH!”
“Intensify forward
firepower!”
“AHHHHH!”
“Too late!”
This, I believe, is the best image we get of the Shunga ship
that was literally stolen from the Galaxy Police and attached to Clay’s ship.
“…that Mihoshi really is hopeless.”
Hey, don’t knock her! She did far better than anyone
expected her to!
“Ah! There he is!”
“See Tenchi!”
Of course, Tenchi and Ayeka were worried for Mihoshi so they
made like a tree and got out of there:
“I…wish you would try to think a little…before you act
Tenchi.”
But…how did they manage to get there, anyway?
…a giant crystal…and in their battle outfits from Episode Six.
Wait, that’s funny! In Episode Six, Washu is the one trapped
in the crystal against her will. In this episode, the OTHERS willingly travel
in a crystal, leaving Washu alone.
I’m overthinking this, aren’t it?
Just as Tenchi and Ayeka form a battle plan, we see Mihoshi
run by really fast.
She is being chased by little robots that would be right at
home in a Mega Man game.
They look like the
baby of Launch Octopus and Yukinojo.
However, THEY end up retreating because Mihoshi has taken
the upper hand!
Looks about right.
“Looks like she’s alright…I guess…”
Enough of this, let’s see Clay’s headquarters.
I guess Clay is into
Greek philosophy?
“Well…that boy is pretty good for an Earthling.”
Why would you say that? Tenchi hasn’t done AYTHING
yet…unless you are referring to how he, Ayeka, and Mihoshi are breathing in
space right now, because THAT is a feat in it of itself.
“…but he doesn’t look good enough for Washu to be interested
in him.”
Oh, I stand corrected. Tenchi has apparently joined the
battle and has whipped out the old Tenchi-ken. Also: the Earthling is breathing in space! That is enough
for any scientist to be interested in.
“Well, at any rate there’s no way they can get here!”
Clay, you are an idiot. Kagato invited the girls to him
because he knew he could win. And, to be honest, he WOULD have won if not for
Tsunami reviving Tenchi and Tenchi having the power to create the Light Hawk
Wings. You are doing nothing proactive to accomplish your goal beyond sending
your robots. Plus, you can’t say shit like that and not expect…
“That’s why I told them to wait for a while!”
“Irony is a bitch
Clay!”
“Oh come on! Kagato’s
hair was grey too and nobody made any quips on his looks!”
“Although your octopus head is just like the old days!”
Before he can react, Washu disarms Clay of his weapon.
“We would be honored
if you could join us.”
“You’re just the same Washu…just like when we were competing
for the director’s chair at the Academy.”
Bam: rivalry established and justified. Also…
Clay gets up out of his chair and begins to monologue like
any good villain:
“But now it’s time for you to see how I felt, when I was
driven out of the Academy! Now it’s your turn to know how that feels Washu!”
Clay is now in full Bond villain mode and reveals a hidden
panel in a statue, which will blow up the ship if Washu tries anything funny.
And that’s not all that would die…
“Not to mention…dear Washu…that precious girl of yours!”
Ryoko, it turns out, has been stripped of her shirt for no
reason and is trapped in a beaker.
WHY IS SHE SHIRTLESS?! In fact, several frames have nipples drawn in more detail than even in Episode Four.
WHY IS SHE SHIRTLESS?! In fact, several frames have nipples drawn in more detail than even in Episode Four.
Kajishima…have you no shame?
“Oh well, it’s a good think that it isn’t someone like
Ayeka!”
This causes Ryoko to freak out…while her boobs jiggle
around. Somewhere out there, Kajishima has copies of the animation cels from
this sequence and looks at them only to say “This is my legacy. This is the big
one.”
I rag on Kajishima a lot for this stuff, which is well
deserved at times, but he did help create something I love. I guess it’s like
my view on Bob Kane. He helped create Batman, but he screwed over Bill Finger
even to this day and was a complete dick who barely did the work that was
credited to him.
“So perhaps you can tell me what those gems are she’s
wearing. To be perfectly honest, even Her Majesty couldn’t figure them
out…which frankly surprises me.”
GEM. SINGULAR.
“Actually! Frankly and honestly! I don’t know either!
They’ve been around since I was a little girl!”
Three things about this bit:
1)
Washu imitates Clay.
2)
Vogt is HILLARIOUS.
3)
We learn that Washu DID NOT create the gems and
has no idea how she came about them. THIS IS IMPORTANT!
“I DO NOT USE BIG
WORDS LIKE THAT!”
Clay goes on AGAIN about Tenchi being a guinea pig and it’s
around this time that we realize THIS is going to be the main source of
conflict for this episode: two scientists arguing with each other in a relaxed
setting.
“Just because I call him my little guinea pig that doesn’t
necessarily mean that he’s a research subject does it?”
Clay begins to laugh and it is at this point that Washu
demands to know what the hell this is all about.
“There was not a day that I didn’t think about you these
past 20,000 years. I can’t tell you how many times I thought that ever knowing
you was the greatest misfortune of my life!”
“…you have the
pettiest of motivations Doctor Clay. Please, do go on.”
“Well that is all coming to an end today! The biggest pain
of my life will become the Goddess of Good Fortune!”
Washu can hardly hold back her fear.
“Uh-huh.”
“Uh-huh?”
I feel bad for this
guy. No matter how hard he tries, he cannot be threatening at all. Nobody
respects him and we as an audience cannot take him seriously. This is funny,
but at the same time anti-climactic.
“There is a place I’d like to take you…someone wants to meet
you!”
Ah, we are finally getting to Lady Tokimi! Well, it’s about…
“Ooooh! Little girls turn you on, huh?”
“WHAT?!”
I agree.
“Ah! I knew it!”
This is happening.
“You’re gonna take me to some kind of secret club and do all
kinds of things to my young and beautiful body! Oh my! Oh my!”
“Oh myyyyyyyyy.”
“And at the end, you are going to do something unspeakable!
AHHHHH!”
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!
“Old age has such a way of distorting how you express your
love.”
“Just to be clear: I
did not write that song and have not had sex with a child (or a minor and
anything like that!)”
This is a thing that is happening.
“After all, why would I be interested in something that I can’t
tell the front from the back?!”
DAAAAYYYYYUUUUUUMMMMMMM!
“GAH! TAKE A LOOK YOU JERK!”
“I don’t want to see you…the one who wants to see you is
Lady Tokimi.”
No. No. No, no, no, no. You do NOT get to do this moment
like that! This is supposed to be a big, climactic reveal, not the punchline of
a PEDOPHILIA JOKE!
I make allowances for a lot of things. As much as I hate it,
I GET THE INCEST. It is an alien race, full of nobility. I can see that. I
might not agree with it, but I can see that. By why, why the fuck would you
dedicate so much time to PEDOPHILIA JOKES?! Is this a cultural thing? Was this
an acceptable target only because she is actually 20,000 years old?
IT IS NOT OKAY.
“Hmmm?”
“Lady…Tokimi?”
“Oh? We are going back
to the plot? Thank god.”
“Surprised Washu?”
“Yeah I’m surprised. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard you
call someone by a title!”
Let us enjoy the many reactions of Doctor Clay, shall we?
“So, who is this Lady Tokimi anyway?”
“Wha…?”
“Remember, I was locked up for the past 5,000 years…I’m
pretty sure I don’t remember hearing that name while I was at the Academy…can’t
remember a thing that happened over 20,000 years ago…come on, give me a hint!”
So not only does Washu have no idea about the origins of her
gems, she has no idea who Tokimi is, despite Tokimi having a shadow of her in
her dimension.
Oh look, Tenchi and the girls are doing something…and I just
realized Sasami isn’t with them. Dan, you up for this?
Good for you.
“Damn it! Now where can Ryoko be?”
Are we going to see any of the kick ass fighting sequences
that were previewed on Clay’s screen?
“Tenchi! I think that maybe we should go this way Tenchi!”
And so now they run…
…and end up right back where they started.
“Are you enjoying my
Labyrinth?”
The halls then close and our heroes are trapped with no way
out.
“Open the blast doors!
Open the blast doors!”
“Something is very wrong…the structure of the passageway is
different from the Galaxy Police structure…and I think that perhaps this
means…”
Mihoshi: savior of the universe!
“…perhaps this means…?”
“This means that perhaps we are trapped in here!”
“YES WE ARE TRAPPED IN HERE! WE ARE VERY LOCKED UP!”
“…we are?”
“Oh dear, what are we going to do?!”
We then see Zero in her quarters…and I have to ask, why does
Zero have its own giant, lavish quarters when it is a robot?
I mean, is this a guest room? Does Clay get a lot of company? Is this on the Shunga?
“Oh yeah, by the way, don’t you want to know how I knew
where to find you? Aren’t you the slightest bit curious?”
Okay, you’ve got me. How did you know Washu?
“It’s simple really? Did you know that you have a habit of
marking all your favorite things with your special logo? Always did…”
“WHAT?!”
“That’s how I knew the bridge was in the statue’s head!”
“…and this is your favorite!”
I would like to point out that we are only at the halfway
point of this episode and barely anything of consequence has happened. All that
has happened is literally this:
1) “Ryoko” didn’t kill Tenchi and returned to Clay.
2) The gang follows.
3) The gang splits up.
4) Clay and Washu talk.
That’s it.
Ugh.
So by this point, Clay is done dicking around and decides to
capture Washu himself. How? By turning the chair Washu was sitting in into
ooze.
He goes to admire his handiwork and is very pleased…until…
“Washu?!”
“I didn’t forget to put the ribbon on!”
A brick joke if I have ever seen one. Kudos.
“Listen up! I’d really like to get the gang and Ryoko back
so I’ll give you this doll but I really have to inisist that you don’t do
anything indecent to it…okay?”
STOP IT! JUST STOP IT!
However, something stops Washu in her tracks:
“Don’t move!”
It’s Zero/Ryoko, finally doing something on this ship
besides moping!
And with that, Clay goes from Dick Dasterdly to Emperor
Palpatine in two seconds.
“Everything that has
transpired has done so according to MY design!”
As Clay begins to lord over Washu, gloating how she forgot
to take Zero into account, he too is stopped by his creation.
“I meant you too Doctor!”
“What do you mean?!”
“Pay attention Doctor: please don’t get Tenchi involved
anymore!”
Clay does not take this well, as you would imagine.
“Un…unbelievable…even though a different memory was
implanted, complete and absolute obedience to ME should be in the depths of her
unconsciousness.”
“My guess is because you made a complete copy!”
“Zero…listen to me; that is not your will! The
pseudo-personality that was implanted in you is making you act like that! All I
have to do is erase that memory and…”
Damn it Clay, do not provoke the robot with Ryoko’s powers.
You have no idea what she is capable of. Hell, I don’t know what she is capable
of!
“OH! URGH!”
“NO DOCTOR! I want this memory and body! I want to live as
Ryoko!”
…you know the REAL Ryoko is in the room, right?
“You would betray me? How dare you?! You’re just…you’re just
a marionette that I made!”
Ah, but that just means she is already one step closer to
becoming Ryoko than you realize. Not only was Ryoko used as a puppet by Kagato,
but Minagi was specifically referred to as a “Cyber-Marionette,” and she is
Ryoko’s clone/sister/daughter.
“I…I AM RYOKO!”
“So be it…Ryoko…”
“If you will not be
turned, then you will be DESTROYED!”
“FATHER! PLEASE HELP
ME!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!”
“Ah! Zero!”
With that, we have come full circle to Ryoko as captured by
Kagato: Zero begins to cry as Tenchi flashes before her eyes.
“The Force will be
with you…always…”
“Ten…chi…”
“’Ryoko!’ Clay you are an awful bastard!”
Why did she call Zero “Ryoko?” Wouldn’t that be a slap in
the face to her real daughter, who is floating around topless behind her?
“Everyone’s making fun of me!”
Clay, when you say shit like this, you are really asking for
it. Taro the baby acted more mature than you. Every time you slip into a
threatening role, you screw it up. You are an ineffectual villain. I award you
no points and my Tsunami have mercy on your soul.
“You haven’t changed at all…have you? This is why you were
kicked out of school.”
“YOU were the one who stirred those who were jealous of my
talent to DRIVE ME OUT!”
“There’s no one like that at the graduate school. The ones
who don’t love their work are the ones who are disliked! And they are the ones
that are driven out!”
“I’ll tell you what I love: I love perfection and my
technology is perfect! That’s what I love! There can’t be any defects in my
work! THERE CAN’T BE!”
Wait…is Clay Professor
Pyg? Because you are sounding a whole lot like Professor Pyg, minus everything
that made him terrifying.
“Hahahahaha!”
“You IDIOT!”
However, calling him that made him remember about the reason
WHY Washu was even captured in the first place…and it is here that things get interesting:
“20,000 years ago…you don’t remember? Didn’t you say that? I
remember investigating your past a long time ago. Oh, yes…I do indeed…”
“Let’s see what your relationship with Lady Tokimi is…by
making a copy of your memory!”
“Back off you idiot! Don’t you know a woman’s age and past
are best kept a secret?!”
“I know that I am a scientist! I know I can’t stand leaving
a mystery unsolved, and the same applies to that gem Washu!”
So first off, this establishes that outside of Washu’s
child, her past is a mystery. All we know is that Washu went to the Academy
with Doctor Clay and Kagato (remember, the manga doesn’t count here kids!), she
was briefly in a relationship with the Kuramitsu family, she used the gems that
she had from her youth to develop Ryoko and Ryo-Ohki, and was finally captured
by Kagato and placed aboard her other invention: the Soja.
Secondly, Clay FINALLY remembers that there is only one gem!
Thank god for continuity!
“I don’t know anything about it! I don’t know if it even
exists or not…”
It is this comment that causes Clay to think back to the
previous episode. What was it that Zero said about Tokimi?
“Her very existence is impossible, even though she was
present right there in front of us.”
“MY GOD!”
So is Clay implying that there is more to the gems than
meets the eye? That there may be some kind of…higher power involved here? What
does that mean? Well, I think I worked it out:
The gems are made of Energon. We even saw the planet Cybertron last episode. Don’t believe me? Reread my review and you’ll see it right there.
However, before Clay can explain HIS theory to the audience,
Zero find the strength to muster up one final attack, freeing Washu.
“How can this be? Its functions should have been totally shut
down!”
Of course, he took his eye off Washu. You know what that
means…
“CLAY!”
“I tinkled my
pantaloons!”
“Oof!”
This leads to Washu playing a game of Donkey Kong with Clay.
“How high can you
climb?”
Clay is all out of lives so he does the next best thing: he
activates his trap card!
“SCREW THE RULES! I
HAVE A CURLY BEARD!”
The ship starts to rumble and Clay decides to monologue a
bit more about his new plan:
“When this ship divides, the energy reactor of the main body
of the ship will begin to shrink and then it will explode! If you want to stop
it…if you want to stop it the statue over there is the control!”
“Heavens to murgatroyd!
Exit, stage right even!”
So Clay leaves, but, in a nice detail, not without his
precious vase:
And Washu examines the statue:
She presses a button and wouldn’t you know it, the statue’s
clothes come off revealing a fully naked woman.
“Talk about bad taste you dirty old man.”
Washu types furiously at the computer before she comes to a
startling realization:
“Oh no! It’s a dummy! Damn.”
Then she…
“Oh myyyyyy.”
The female part of the ship has completely separated while
Dick Dast…err Doctor Clay exits in his own personal shuttle.
We see that the ship is starting to blow up and our heroes
are about to be caught in the crossfire:
“What’s going on?”
The trio almost die but Ayeka remembers that she has
defensive powers that she hasn’t used since Episode Six and saves everyone.
Mihoshi starts to blabber on about Tenchi saving Mihoshi,
even though it was Ayeka, when our Princess has a revelation:
“It means we are going to become a black hole!”
“WHAT?!”
“Wow! You mean it, really? This will be my first time I’ve
ever come so close to one! Wow!”
“…I’m sure it will be.”
Ayeka’s face faults are always so hilarious.
Time starts to run out as even Washu can only stabilize her
side of the ship. All hope seems lost. However, it was foretold that an
Earthling would rise from our ranks and use the power of the Light Hawk Wings
to light our darkest hour.
“YOU GOT THE TOUCH!
YOU GOT THE POWER! YEAH!”
The Shunga and the remnants of Clay’s ship are then promptly
sucked into the black hole presumably leaving no survivors. Sorry Stan Bush, I
guess I was wrong. Oh, and since the ship is destroyed, drink up.
Oh well, that sucks. Let’s look in on Doctor Clay:
“Washu! You have ruined everything! It’s all your fault! It’s
all your fault, Washu!”
But then something catches Clay’s eye…it started to glow…and
it started to grow!
“WHAAAA?! The gravity constant of the space is changing?! That’s
impossible!”
And then we are treated to this beautifully drawn sequence
where we see something escape from the black hole. What could it possibly be?
“TILL ALL ARE ONE!”
R.I.P. Dan Backslide:
Coward-Bully-Cad-and-Thief.
Clay is utterly amazed by Tenchi’s abilities and realizes
that this is good information to bring back to Tokimi. However, there is one
combatant who has been conveniently forgotten by everyone:
“MEOW!”
“I’LL GET YOU NEXT
TIME HAKUBI! NEXT TIME!”
In our next shot, we see that Mihoshi actually has a body to
deliver to her bosses this time:
“Chief Quimby always
tells me that Captain Taur the Lion Man loves his dinner reheated!”
And thus, our Man Servant now has a name: Chief Quimby.
Washu then gives Mihoshi a wrapped up present (with a ribbon,
of course):
Which she then promptly destroys (with the distinct sound effect
of a vase breaking):
“Don’t worry, I put a tube of glue in there, too.”
Our resident scientist goes to look at her daughter, who is
still pissed that she has done shit this episode:
“I want my sake damn
it!”
Tenchi, meanwhile, has to deal with a robotic duplicate that
has a few screws loose in the head.
“I’m sorry I lied to you.”
“Ryoko…I’ve been wanted to be called that forever. I only
wish that time would stop now…but I am not Ryoko.”
“This is too messed up
even for me.”
Then this happens:
“Come on Tenchi! Put Ryoko’s body in the capsule!”
“What?”
“Ryoko’s going back into one body!”
“What the hell does
that even mean?!”
“You know…I’ve got to tell you characters, it’s not too easy
to duplicate my masterpiece. I took the trouble to divide her into two because
I can’t control the mind of a complete unit! So now I’m going to put them back
together into one!”
“I am so full of shit!”
Ryoko, not so easily fooled, calls Washu out on this
bullshit immediately through her thoughts:
“I can’t believe you would make this kind of a decision for
me! I don’t like it. She’s so…embarrassing!”
“Embarrassing? You mean embarrassing because she reminds you
of yourself? Or is it because you are really jealous of her? I mean, she’s so
honest about her feelings. Ryoko, that is the other you. The one with your TRUE
feelings! And I bet you know that better than anyone…am I right?”
Regardless, this is wrong. You have forced Ryoko into a
situation where she looks like a terrible person in front of the people she
cares about. This is a violation of her trust in you as a person and as, no
matter what kind of bond you might have, her mother. This is not right.
Washu DOES say that if she doesn’t want to do it, she will
call it off, but when you have that kind of pressure put on you, what do you
expect her to say?
“DAMN YOU WASHU!”
Sounds about right.
Following that, the image of Tenchi producing Light Hawk
Wings is replayed, but this time we hear a familiar voice talking over it.
“What IS this energy?”
“Is it Washu? Or is this Tsunami’s doing?”
Wow: our first verbal confirmation that Tokimi is after
Tsunami as well! From this we also see that she has the ability to see things
far across the galaxy, thus Clay’s role would have been inconsequential.
“That sword is capable of material conversion…and yet it
only has three blades.”
“Only...?” What does that mean?
“I can’t say.”
“You CAN’T say or you WON’T say? But this dimension does
seem to be perfect for your purpose…for not only Washu, but Tsunami here.”
As D3 speaks aloud we are left with a most disturbing image:
“There is another.”
A man. Who can produce FIVE Light Hawk Wings. By himself.
Holy smokes indeed Boy Wonder.
“Now, what shall we do about Doctor Clay?”
Good question. Will he become a reoccurring villain like
most cowardly types?
“As I recall, this dimension is your jurisdiction.”
“Yes…your majesty.”
And that’s it.
What?
We cut back to the Masaki house one final time…even though I’d
rather stick with Tokimi and Light Hawk Wings guy. We see the physical form of
Tsunami for the first time in this episode doing chores while Washu types on
her computer. However, she gets distracted by something:
“Garfield is
HILLARIOUS today! He kicked Odie off a shelf!”
Washu decides to screw around with her one final time:
“Oh Tenchi!”
“But Miss Washu, I thought Tenchi wouldn’t be back until
later this evening!”
“Oh you magnificent
bitch!”
“So innocent!”
And so our final traditional episode closes on Ryoko contemplating
her new life:
“Oh my, when will I ever get back to…normal?”
REVIEW
I have made the comparison between the original Star Wars
Trilogy and the OVA series quite a few times. I stand by that comparison with
regards to all of OVA 1 and these past two episodes. However, as our look at
OVA 2 draws to a close, I can think of another comparison that fits the two
series even better:
You might be asking yourself "Why?" and you would be correct. It is a wild claim to make, but allow me to explain:
Though the Ninja Turtles began as a comic book parody of X-Men, Daredevil, and Frank Miller, they captured the nation through their 1987 animated counterparts. The show began as a five part season that followed one continuous story: the Turtles meet April who then discover the Foot Clan who is led by Splinter's rival Oroku Saki who is leading them in a golf ball with an eyeball on top provided by a brain named Krang in order for Shredder to build him a body.
Those five episodes contain practically everything we loved about the Turtles cartoon, with the sole exceptions of a few characters like Casey Jones, Baxter Stockman as a fly, Leatherhead, and Irma.
By the season's end, all of the main plot points have concluded but the possibility that the adventure can continue.
And continue it did. For ten seasons.
However, the seasons that followed marked a sharp decline in quality. The animation never lived up to the standards of the original episodes, the plot lessened, and the characters were dumbed down to one note gags. Now each episode of the first seven seasons had a small, overarching plot: Shredder, Krang, Bebop, and Rocksteady needed to steal parts or energy to get the Technodrome back up and running for the season finale, which is the culmination of that plot.
The OVA follows that exact same formula. OVA 1 set the standard for every Tenchi series and medium to follow it, in the same way that every version of the Turtles relates SOMETHING back to the cartoon, be it the multi-colored headbands, the love of pizza, Bebop, Rocksteady, Krang (the character, not the concept of a brain in a stomach), Dimension X, Baxter as a fly, or April as a newscaster. OVA 2, however, lowered the bar quite a bit in regards to overarching plots, were more self-contained, and tended to have the jokes move the plot as opposed to allowing the plot to be enriched by jokes. When the jokes worked, they worked, but sometimes it took away from the story. However, by the end, a story WAS told and we got to know our heroes and their world a bit more.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1987.
You might be asking yourself "Why?" and you would be correct. It is a wild claim to make, but allow me to explain:
Though the Ninja Turtles began as a comic book parody of X-Men, Daredevil, and Frank Miller, they captured the nation through their 1987 animated counterparts. The show began as a five part season that followed one continuous story: the Turtles meet April who then discover the Foot Clan who is led by Splinter's rival Oroku Saki who is leading them in a golf ball with an eyeball on top provided by a brain named Krang in order for Shredder to build him a body.
And a beautiful one at that.
Those five episodes contain practically everything we loved about the Turtles cartoon, with the sole exceptions of a few characters like Casey Jones, Baxter Stockman as a fly, Leatherhead, and Irma.
Sorry Jennifer.
By the season's end, all of the main plot points have concluded but the possibility that the adventure can continue.
And continue it did. For ten seasons.
However, the seasons that followed marked a sharp decline in quality. The animation never lived up to the standards of the original episodes, the plot lessened, and the characters were dumbed down to one note gags. Now each episode of the first seven seasons had a small, overarching plot: Shredder, Krang, Bebop, and Rocksteady needed to steal parts or energy to get the Technodrome back up and running for the season finale, which is the culmination of that plot.
The OVA follows that exact same formula. OVA 1 set the standard for every Tenchi series and medium to follow it, in the same way that every version of the Turtles relates SOMETHING back to the cartoon, be it the multi-colored headbands, the love of pizza, Bebop, Rocksteady, Krang (the character, not the concept of a brain in a stomach), Dimension X, Baxter as a fly, or April as a newscaster. OVA 2, however, lowered the bar quite a bit in regards to overarching plots, were more self-contained, and tended to have the jokes move the plot as opposed to allowing the plot to be enriched by jokes. When the jokes worked, they worked, but sometimes it took away from the story. However, by the end, a story WAS told and we got to know our heroes and their world a bit more.
There are a lot of good things about OVA 2 and a lot of
things I wish that were done differently. Tenchi
is basically a space opera and a comedy. When most people think of Tenchi, it is of the space opera variety
but more often they get the comedy. I just wish that there was more of a
balance when it comes to some of these episodes.
We learned a lot about characters like Sasami and Washu, but
characters like Mihoshi are still blank slates. What did we learn about Mihoshi
that was stated in the show?
Nothing! And not to beat a dead horse, but that was my
biggest problem with this OVA.
But enough about OVA 2 as a whole, let’s talk about THIS
episode.
This episode is a bit of a mixed bag. At its core it is
designed to conclude several plots while also setting up several threads that
will not be picked up for years. It does succeed in that front.
The problem is the episode does it by the old trap of telling and not showing.
The backstory of Doctor Clay and Washu would be incredibly interesting to see. It is the core of their rivalry and what drives this episode. Though Kagato and Washu's story would also have benefited from showing glimpses of it, there was so much going on that all we needed to know was that they worked together. This episode had nothing BUT the relationship between these two to go on, but in the end we got two scientists talking. For twenty minutes.
Now this could have been done in a way to keep us engaged and excited, but half of the conversation were jokes at Clay's expense. Did this episode NEED those kind of jokes? Hell no. Do I need to explain why? No, I think I've made my point.
But what about Doctor Clay? How does he work as a follow up from Kagato?
He fails. Miserably.
There is nothing wrong with having a comedic villain. Villains like Gargamel, Dick Dastardly, and Emperor Pilaf work because they present a threat in a comedic way. The characters may fear them, but we laugh at them.
At no point in this episode is Clay presented as a legitimate threat.
The closest he came was when he ordered Zero to kill Tenchi, but it is diminished by wining and acting like a child. He tried blowing up the ship, true, but it's more of a situational threat than Clay as a whole.
The closest comparison I can think of is General Grevious in Revenge of the Sith. The original Clone Wars miniseries portrayed him as a ruthless killer who should not be messed with. Seriously, he massacred Jedi left and right. It was great.
Then we saw the film.
Is he a threat? No. We are TOLD he is a threat, but short of an overly elaborate fight scene he does nothing. He leaves the Invisible Hand and sends his Magnaguards to get killed in two seconds. We could care less what happens to him.
But can a fully comedic villain who isn't seen as a threat work? Yes, but only in a comedy. Case in point, Doctor Ivo Robotnik from the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog.
Folks, this show is stupid as hell, but I love it, or specifically I love Robotnik in this show. I think the closest he comes to winning is when he gets the Chaos Emeralds in that three parter, but even then he isn't taken seriously. Hell, he even retires at one point for laughs.
Now I could bring up a number of purely comedic villains, like even Dan Backslide, R.I.P. but why him? Well, at the exact same time that this show was airing, we also had another Sonic cartoon that was a bit more serious. Both shared Jaeel White as Sonic, but Robotnik went from this:
To this:
THIS Robotnik was a credible threat. Was there comedy at his expense? Yes, but damn it he backed it up with good old fashioned terror. This show was a fantasy and Robotnik for the role of the archetypal "evil king."
The other alternative is to have a deadly, campy villain. This villain can be played for laughs but when it comes down to it, they will KILL you. The best example I can think of is Beast Wars Megatron. He constantly talks to himself and takes baths with a rubber duck yet he manages to be threatening by literally killing Optimus Primal in Season One, establishing him as being far more dangerous than he let on, and then killing OPTIMUS PRIME, effectively erasing his own existence. Of course, both of those times his plans were stopped, but by the series's end, we knew he was not to be taken lightly.
Clay never really had a moment like that here.
Going back to Clay and OVA 2 as a whole, the show doesn't know what type of genre it is any more. Is it a space fantasy? Is it action? Is it a comedy? You can't have it all and expect it to come out mishmashed. It is tonally all over the place.
The lack of commitment to the space opera style that the audience expected coming in is what makes this episode lower than the previous episode. That episode, though comedic in nature, used the comedy to get us to understand the nature of the situation. Just as the situation got a bit too repetitive, Clay forced the game to change.
In this episode, Clay whines like a brat. He acts like a brat. This is done purposeful, You see, Clay is supposed to represent a side of Washu.
Clay is the scientist who only enjoys perfection and will discard everything. He is fully childish in his nature. Compare that to his polar opposite, Kagato. Kagato immersed himself in the world of science, but approaches it in a cold and calculated manner. If you were to take the childish nature of Clay with the dedication of Kagato, you would get Washu.
I don't know, I just can't get behind him. There was potential to be a great evil, campy foil to Washu, but there wasn't enough time to follow through with it. Such is the folly of being limited with the amount of episodes you are given.
So what else is there to talk about in this episode? The fact that Tenchi is only there for that final moment where he displays the Light Hawk Wings? Mihoshi kicking ass again? Oh I know:
Tokimi.
What is the point? She is teased at so much but does nothing. At all. For someone who was hyped up she does nothing and is relegated to a third OVA, one that wouldn't be made until over five years later. I LOVE foreshadowing and setting things up for a long run, but I wish there was something more. If only we could revisit Tokimi one more time before this OVA is finished, even if it was presented as a series of static images.
Oh well. It's not like the last episode of the OVA fits with any of the plots OVA 2 but rather seems like a follow up to a few lingering plot threads from OVA 1.
My final word on this episode: the humor overtook the plot and it hurt it.
Animation: That black hole sequence was really well done, but the rest is bogged down a lot by focus on, say, Ryoko's half naked body. Look, I needed to take off points somewhere for that and this is the most logical place: 15/20
Main Characters: Washu is hilarious, but her jokes are waaaaaay too much at times. Clay is ineffectual. Zero is underused: 12/20
Supporting Characters: The other characters are props. Ayeka has some humorous moments and Mihoshi is great, but Tenchi and Ryoko are there only to advance the story to the logical conclusion: 14/20
Music: Nothing special, but still great regardless: 17/20.
Story: I appreciate the story that is trying to be told, but it is lost in the jokes and the presentation. Kajishima knows what he wants and is getting it. As such, I can't fault it: 17/20
Overall Tenchi Rating: 75!
Ayeka and Ryoko Verbal Sparring: 0!
Star Wars References: 9!
Well the main story might be finished for now but we have one double sized episode left in the OVA. This episode answers one pretty big question: why hasnobody from the Planet Jurai attempted to find their missing Princesses? Next time is lucky number thirteen: "Here Comes Jurai!"
The problem is the episode does it by the old trap of telling and not showing.
The backstory of Doctor Clay and Washu would be incredibly interesting to see. It is the core of their rivalry and what drives this episode. Though Kagato and Washu's story would also have benefited from showing glimpses of it, there was so much going on that all we needed to know was that they worked together. This episode had nothing BUT the relationship between these two to go on, but in the end we got two scientists talking. For twenty minutes.
Now this could have been done in a way to keep us engaged and excited, but half of the conversation were jokes at Clay's expense. Did this episode NEED those kind of jokes? Hell no. Do I need to explain why? No, I think I've made my point.
But what about Doctor Clay? How does he work as a follow up from Kagato?
He fails. Miserably.
There is nothing wrong with having a comedic villain. Villains like Gargamel, Dick Dastardly, and Emperor Pilaf work because they present a threat in a comedic way. The characters may fear them, but we laugh at them.
At no point in this episode is Clay presented as a legitimate threat.
The closest he came was when he ordered Zero to kill Tenchi, but it is diminished by wining and acting like a child. He tried blowing up the ship, true, but it's more of a situational threat than Clay as a whole.
The closest comparison I can think of is General Grevious in Revenge of the Sith. The original Clone Wars miniseries portrayed him as a ruthless killer who should not be messed with. Seriously, he massacred Jedi left and right. It was great.
Then we saw the film.
Is he a threat? No. We are TOLD he is a threat, but short of an overly elaborate fight scene he does nothing. He leaves the Invisible Hand and sends his Magnaguards to get killed in two seconds. We could care less what happens to him.
But can a fully comedic villain who isn't seen as a threat work? Yes, but only in a comedy. Case in point, Doctor Ivo Robotnik from the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog.
Folks, this show is stupid as hell, but I love it, or specifically I love Robotnik in this show. I think the closest he comes to winning is when he gets the Chaos Emeralds in that three parter, but even then he isn't taken seriously. Hell, he even retires at one point for laughs.
Now I could bring up a number of purely comedic villains, like even Dan Backslide, R.I.P. but why him? Well, at the exact same time that this show was airing, we also had another Sonic cartoon that was a bit more serious. Both shared Jaeel White as Sonic, but Robotnik went from this:
To this:
THIS Robotnik was a credible threat. Was there comedy at his expense? Yes, but damn it he backed it up with good old fashioned terror. This show was a fantasy and Robotnik for the role of the archetypal "evil king."
The other alternative is to have a deadly, campy villain. This villain can be played for laughs but when it comes down to it, they will KILL you. The best example I can think of is Beast Wars Megatron. He constantly talks to himself and takes baths with a rubber duck yet he manages to be threatening by literally killing Optimus Primal in Season One, establishing him as being far more dangerous than he let on, and then killing OPTIMUS PRIME, effectively erasing his own existence. Of course, both of those times his plans were stopped, but by the series's end, we knew he was not to be taken lightly.
Clay never really had a moment like that here.
Going back to Clay and OVA 2 as a whole, the show doesn't know what type of genre it is any more. Is it a space fantasy? Is it action? Is it a comedy? You can't have it all and expect it to come out mishmashed. It is tonally all over the place.
The lack of commitment to the space opera style that the audience expected coming in is what makes this episode lower than the previous episode. That episode, though comedic in nature, used the comedy to get us to understand the nature of the situation. Just as the situation got a bit too repetitive, Clay forced the game to change.
In this episode, Clay whines like a brat. He acts like a brat. This is done purposeful, You see, Clay is supposed to represent a side of Washu.
Clay is the scientist who only enjoys perfection and will discard everything. He is fully childish in his nature. Compare that to his polar opposite, Kagato. Kagato immersed himself in the world of science, but approaches it in a cold and calculated manner. If you were to take the childish nature of Clay with the dedication of Kagato, you would get Washu.
I don't know, I just can't get behind him. There was potential to be a great evil, campy foil to Washu, but there wasn't enough time to follow through with it. Such is the folly of being limited with the amount of episodes you are given.
So what else is there to talk about in this episode? The fact that Tenchi is only there for that final moment where he displays the Light Hawk Wings? Mihoshi kicking ass again? Oh I know:
Tokimi.
What is the point? She is teased at so much but does nothing. At all. For someone who was hyped up she does nothing and is relegated to a third OVA, one that wouldn't be made until over five years later. I LOVE foreshadowing and setting things up for a long run, but I wish there was something more. If only we could revisit Tokimi one more time before this OVA is finished, even if it was presented as a series of static images.
Oh well. It's not like the last episode of the OVA fits with any of the plots OVA 2 but rather seems like a follow up to a few lingering plot threads from OVA 1.
My final word on this episode: the humor overtook the plot and it hurt it.
Animation: That black hole sequence was really well done, but the rest is bogged down a lot by focus on, say, Ryoko's half naked body. Look, I needed to take off points somewhere for that and this is the most logical place: 15/20
Main Characters: Washu is hilarious, but her jokes are waaaaaay too much at times. Clay is ineffectual. Zero is underused: 12/20
Supporting Characters: The other characters are props. Ayeka has some humorous moments and Mihoshi is great, but Tenchi and Ryoko are there only to advance the story to the logical conclusion: 14/20
Music: Nothing special, but still great regardless: 17/20.
Story: I appreciate the story that is trying to be told, but it is lost in the jokes and the presentation. Kajishima knows what he wants and is getting it. As such, I can't fault it: 17/20
Overall Tenchi Rating: 75!
Ayeka and Ryoko Verbal Sparring: 0!
Star Wars References: 9!
Well the main story might be finished for now but we have one double sized episode left in the OVA. This episode answers one pretty big question: why hasnobody from the Planet Jurai attempted to find their missing Princesses? Next time is lucky number thirteen: "Here Comes Jurai!"
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