Tenchi Muyo! Galaxy Police Mihoshi's Space Adventure!

Welcome one and all to our short break from the OVAs as we explore some of the oddities of the OVA continuity. Our first such item of note is simply called The Mihoshi Special. So…what is The Mihoshi Special?

I really don’t know.

This special was designed as a little special during the production of OVA 2 (and to fill the gap of time between both OVAs) and was instrumental for showing us in animated form two key figures in the Tenchi universe…both of which will actually appear IN Tenchi Universe.

The tricky part is where does this piece of animation belong? It doesn’t fit into the Kajishima canon or the Okuda canon. The same can be said for Hasegawa’s works as well. So what is the best thing to do?

Simple: it is in its own section of the OVA continuity.

There were two ways for me to list this special: the first keeping it with the OVA, which is what I chose to do. The alternative was to label it as its own continuity. Personally, I feel like it is set after OVA 1 but has nothing to do with OVA 2. 

In the long run, it really doesn’t matter. It is just a fun, enjoyable take on Tenchi and we shouldn’t have to concern ourselves with such triviality as continuity…for once.

Now before I start this, I would like to say that outside of maybe six words that appeared on a Toonami promo, this was the last piece of Tenchi as dubbed by the original cast I saw. I saw this for the first time maybe three years ago. I don’t think it ever played on Toonami, but I know there was a rare DVD copy of it. I also believe it was included on the Laserdisc edition of the OVA. 

So Mihoshi Special…what do you have for me?

We open up to Mihoshi and Ryo-Ohki running along in a field without a care in the world. While this is happening, we are treated to a lovely song that I have no emotional connection with!

Before we move on, let’s just take a moment to look at what Mihoshi is wearing:

It’s like a pink version of the Alice dress from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. I wonder if that is significant at all…

And I thought Sasami was Alice and Mihoshi was the Doormouse!

Following this we see…Ryoko as Snow White?

You couldn’t make Nobuyuki and Yosho as the two dwarves? That would have been hysterical!

Is this special going to be retelling fairy tales with Tenchi characters? Because I am down with that.

However, Mihoshi diverts from the script VERY quickly.

 

It’s no “True Love’s Kiss” but it will do!

Okay, who is the next fairy tale character going to be? Kagato as Rumpelstiltskin? Nobuyuki the Ginger Bread Man? Taur the Lion Man as the Cowardly Lion? The Tenchi who cried wolf?

Nope, it’s just Little Red Riding Sasami.

Up next is a cloaked figure who looks like death offering apples to Mihoshi. Is Chief Quimby finally going to kill Mihoshi?

Oh it’s just Ayeka being Ayeka. Nothing new here. Wait…would that make Ayeka Ryoko’s Step-Mother?

Mihoshi and Ryo-Ohki eat nearly all of the Evil Princess’ apples without any problem.

This causes Ayeka to wonder why they aren’t dead, so she tries an apple for herself…

 

Comedy!

Also, according to the screencap, Hayashi was still involved at this point, so how long was this in production?

We then see a house made of candy. In a nice cultural touch, the roof is actually a rice cracker.

“I hope this doesn’t turn into Hansel and Gretel!”

Sure enough…

“What do you get when you guzzle down sweets?”

“Eating as much as an elephant eats?”

“What are you at getting terribly fat?”

“What do you think will come of that?”

“I don’t like the look of it!”

With all of this out of the way we get our title card…which reveals to us that this special is ACTUALLY called Galaxy Police Mihoshi’s Space Adventure!

The next thing we see is Mihoshi…doing something…

“Must…strangle…Oompa Loompas!”

“Not again…napping in such a place…”

See guys? It was all a dream!

“I used to read Word Up Magazine! Salt and Pepper, Heavy D up in the Limousine!”

Mihoshi is woken up by the real Ayeka, but she still thinks it’s a dream.

“Oh no! It’s the Old Witch!”

“WHAT OLD WITCH?!”

Tenchi and Sasami laugh, blaming it on Mihoshi’s exhaustion. Then Ayeka brings up a very logical point:

“And just WHAT is she supposed to be exhausted from?! Eating too much breakfast?”

I would say that at least Mihoshi has a job, but if Episode Seven isn’t in continuity here, then perhaps she hasn’t gotten reacquainted with Yukinojo and is still bumming it out.

As Ayeka bemoans Mihoshi’s laziness, we get to the best surprise in this special: Ryoko playing a Game Boy.

“Okay, so I caught Abra so I can teleport when the guy in Cerulean City is about to see me. Are you telling me that all I will have to do is beat that kid with the Slowbro and I can catch Mew?”

After a second of Ryoko and Ayeka trading verbal insults, we get the inciting incident that will jumpstart this special:

“All you do is nap all day…how did you get on the Galaxy Police?”

Nepotism!

“Hey now! Wait! I’m a very competent detective and I’ve solved a lot of really difficult cases I’ll have you know!”

Name one that isn’t Kagato.

“Yes really! Especially the case of the Ultra Energy Matter Robbery! That wound up being among the biggest cases in the Galaxy Crime History!”

How was “Ultra Energy Matter Robbery” never used as a Transformers episode title in 30 years?

“Oh please! Please tell us about it!”

Mihoshi then twitches, showing us that this even probably didn’t happen.

“Well…umm…maybe I should just keep the story to myself…yeah…”

Smooth Mihoshi. Smooth. She is called out it immediately by Ryoko.

“She’s just making it all up! So who cares?”

“Right honey? Right?”

This does not sit right with our Detective and she feels the need to prove herself by keeping her poker face on.

“Alright then, I’ll tell you the story…”

Of a lovely lady? Who was bringing up three very lovely girls?

“It was when…it was the year when the Galaxy Economy Crisis had reached its peak. At that time in the galaxy, a most wicked space pirate was robbing the Ultra Energy Matter time after time!”

It can be gathered that this space ship is carrying “Ultra Energy Matter.” Why? Because it is attacked by a most familiar looking spaceship!

Hmmm.... 

“And the name of the pirate was…”

“Well…let’s just say it was Ryoko for now!”
 

Nice Saiyan cosplay “Ryoko.” Speaking of, how is the real Ryoko handling being cast as a villainess?

“Don’t cast me in your story without my permission!”

And right there we have our set up: the Tenchi cast is taking on roles in Mihoshi’s story in the same way they did in her dream. This concept will be revisited down the line in Tenchi Universe, of which owes a great deal to this special.

Of course, since this is a Tenchi production, we know at least one person thinks Mihoshi is doing a great job…

“I think it is perfect casting!”

Just wait until she gets to you Ayeka. Last time you were the Evil Queen from Snow White.

But enough of that, Ryoko asks a very important question:

“And just what is Ultra Energy Matter anyway, huh?”

“It’s an…Ultra Energy Matter of course!”

“SO WHAT IS IT?! THAT’S WHAT I’M ASKING!”

Never change Petrea Burchard. Never change.

“It’s a matter…with incredible Ultra Energy…understand now?”

“NO I DOOOOOOOOONNNNNN’TTTTTTT!”

That…that last one was possibly the worst line reading I have ever heard Sherry Lynn do. That would make sense for, say Ayeka or Ryoko, but Sasami doesn’t really fit that kind of line. She’s softer spoken. I chalk it up to bad direction.

“You better. I’m watching you!”

At this point, “Ryoko” has just stolen the Ultra Energy Matter, which we still know nothing about other than its usage as a MacGuffin, but a familiar voice calls out to her:

“Wait!”

Oh shit, Tenchi is packing heat!

The last thing we see is “Ryoko” advancing on “Tenchi” (look, you guys are a smart crowd. I am sure you can differentiate the real characters and the ones in Mihoshi’s story so I am dropping the quotation marks) and the sound of a gunshot.

“That day I walked to my office with complete composure as usual…”

Mihoshi: the unreliable narrator.

However, it’s time to use something that hasn’t been seen in a LONG time. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a CHALLENGER APPROACHING!

“I could sense a serious case was waiting for me, and I was right. When I saw the alarming expression on my partner Detective Kiyone’s face, I knew immediately how serious things were!”

Behold one and all, Detective Kiyone Makibi. Who is Kiyone? Well she is Mihoshi’s partner…just like it says right there. The question is, why wasn’t Kiyone introduced in the OVA? Surely she would go out an investigate Mihoshi’s reports about Kagato or attempt to communicate with her…

The short answer is that Kiyone does not exist in Kajishima’s canon.

Kiyone was a character who was created for Hasegawa’s novels (the first one apparently came out in 1993 and this special came out in 1994) and her background is very muddled. Her popularity from this special managed to bump her up to the official position of “Sixth Tenchi Girl” in both Tenchi Universe and Tenchi in Tokyo. She was also a mainstay in Hasegawa’s novels, the movies, and a few of the other Tenchi spinoffs. She is different from the other girls because she seems to be the only one who treats Tenchi with the upmost respect and does not show ANY KIND OF INDICATION THAT SHE IS ATTRACTED TO HIM.

That is progress my friends. She used to be my second favorite Tenchi girl following Washu. After all of my reviews of the OVA…she probably takes the top spot.

Of course, as she does not appear in the animated OVA, she does not appear in the Okuda manga, save for two very special occasions that I will cover in due time.

But enough about her muddled history, let’s focus on the story.

“My life was absolutely perfect until the point I was made a detective…but since you became my partner my life is an absolute nightmare!”

Did I mention that she is voiced by a nearly unrecognizable Sherry Lynn? Because she is. And it is great.

In addition, we see here WHY she was created: she is the perfect foil for Mihoshi. While Washu is technically her foil in regards to her intelligence, Kiyone is her foil in regards to her job. Mihoshi’s skill can be declared as based on luck and chance (not saying she isn’t competent, but even in the OVA it really is), while Kiyone had to earn her way to this point in her life.

The best comparison I can think of is Homer Simpson and Frank Grimes, except Kiyone isn’t a complete dick.

We learn that Mihoshi and Kiyone were asked by the Police Commissioner to look into the Ultra Energy Matter case. I wonder if that is our boy Taur or not. Regardless, we get a glimpse of Tenchi and Kiyone tells us what his role in this story is:

“Investigator Tenchi from Metropolitan Police Headquarters. He caught Ryoko red handed only to be captured by her. We don’t know if he’s dead or alive…”

“What a bonehead!”

“I’m sorry for him to be called a ‘bonehead’ by you!”

Again, the English translators really loved that term. It was used A LOT.

But then something happens: another familiar face joins the story!

“I know Lord Tenchi is still alive!”

“Oh, it’s you. Look, you just can’t walk in here like that!”

Mihoshi tells us that her name is, get this, AYEKA, who was the representative of the Jurai Plureaucrats and the “self-appointed fiancée” of Tenchi. Boy, it is sure lucky that our heroes fit these crime drama archetypes. And since this is a crime drama, we have a rookie cop sent to deliver coffee…err tea: Sasami!

“Little Sasami is the best tea maker in the Crime Investigation Section!”

“I’m not a tea maker! I’m an apprentice detective!”

“Don’t call me Chief Olsen!”

Actually, Sasami would fit very well as Jimmy Olsen if this were a newsroom…

Our girl is told to try harder if she wants to become a detective. Sasami’s response is…well hilarious but it odd hearing it coming from Sasami.

“If you can make it I’m sure I can make it! You’re my star of hope Detective Mihoshi!”

Fake Sasami is a dick!

Ayeka spazzes out for a bit, basically asking Mihoshi and Kiyone to bring Ryoko to her so she can…how does she put it?

“Bang, bang, blood, blood, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, until she is finished!”

…okay…that’s a thing that happened…

The real Ryoko and Sasami ask Mihoshi to clarify a few things…which Mihoshi ignores. When we return to the story, Mihoshi, Kiyone, and Sasami (who was brought along for her tea making skills) have located Ryoko’s base. Oh, Ayeka is there too. Why? Well Mihoshi explains it best:

“I mean, anyone can see that Tenchi’s her last chance to get married and she’s really very afraid of becoming an old maid!”

I’d love to see the real Ayeka’s response to such a comment. Oh wait, we do:

“JUST WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN OLD MAID, I’D LIKE TO KNOW!”

She takes after her Mother.

“Calm down! Calm down! It’s just a name I’m calling the character in the story! Really it doesn’t mean you, Ayeka!”

“I can’t imagine who else it would be…”

“Mmm hmmmm. Yes, yes.”

Dude, why is Sasami a total dick in this Special? It’s one thing if the story Sasami is rude to Mihoshi, but the real Sasami would NEVER call Ayeka an old maid! The hell?!

 As they scour the asteroid field, they manage to pin point the exact location of Ryoko’s base:

No. 

Yes.

Kiyone starts to sneak around the house, preparing a tactical sneak attack through the back door. Mihoshi…just rings the doorbell.

Classic Mihoshi!

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING YOU FOOL?!”

Being Mihoshi, what else? She’ll act like a ditz but will get results in the end.

“It’s called the element of surprise in these cases! We sneak in through the back door!”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea!”

What kind of horrors await our detectives inside Ryoko’s lair? Death traps? Minions? Incest?

Nope, just Tenchi getting drunk.

“Have some more, won’t you?”

“No thanks, I’ve had enough.”

…Tenchi is getting drunk? And continuing to drink? That is an odd sight. I mean, it’s not the REAL Tenchi, but still.

“This place…sure is nice”

“It’s a little bit old. But that means the rent is cheaper. Besides, it’s isolated. That means you can make all the noise you want…and not be heard!”

“I mean, the candles, the music, the sexy dress... I mean, what's going on here?”

Is Tenchi the Mark (from The Room) in this special? Would that make Ryoko Lisa? Is Ayeka Johnny?

 

“Oh man, I just can't figure women out. Sometimes they're just too smart. Sometimes they're just flat-out stupid. Other times they're just evil.”

Ryoko takes this moment to be far more forceful than the real Ryoko ever would and…well poor Tenchi.

“Come on! There’s no use resisting me!”

“That line should be delivered by a policeman!”

This…took an interesting turn rather fast…and that’s the snarkiest thing a “Tenchi” has said in a while.

Of course, seeing how this is a crime comedy…

“Lord Tenchi, I’ve come to save you!”

“Hmm?”

“You’re tearing me apart Tenchi!”

“Thank you, honey, this is a beautiful party! You invited all my friends. Good thinking!”

“What do you think you’re doing barging into my house?!”

That was a fantastic delivery by Ms. Burchard. You can tell just how sexually frustrated/annoyed/surprised she is. Plus, the line is hilarious.

Tenchi tries to cover his ass, but Ryoko says probably the most inappropriate thing uttered on any English version of this show:

“Uh uh, you don’t have to hide it now sweetheart. I call this hard evidence, don’t you?”

“*GASP!*”

“Oh myyyyyyyyy.”

Ayeka, for a very good reason, starts trashing the place in anger, prompting the SECOND most inappropriate thing ever uttered in the English version of this show:

“What do you think you’re doing, you slut?”

Oh shit, this is not going to be good…

“Everybody betrayed me! I’m fed up with this waruld!”

Our spurned Princess starts taking shots at everyone in the room, including almost killing Ryoko.

 

“You BITCH!”

Jesus, what is up with the language in this scene? This special started with freaking Snow White and Hansel and Gretel…how the hell did we get here?

As Ryoko runs to confront Ayeka…she trips on her sake jug.

I thought sake was supposed to get you drunk, not tripping balls…

Mihoshi narrates that Ryoko was then captured and her house was looted…and amazingly we see that not only does the real Ryoko play the Gameboy, but story Ryoko owns a SNES!

There is only one problem: there isn’t any Ultra Energy Matter in the house. This prompts Sasami, ever competent, to realize there might be something they have overlooked:

“Could there be someone else behind the scenes?”

“And that someone ordered Ryoko to collect all of the Ultra Energy Matter…”

Looking at the above images, you might have noticed that Mihoshi is reading a book. Well, it turns out that the book holds all of the answers that our Detectives need:

“Necronomicon Ex Mortus…roughly translated: Book of the Dead!”

It turns out that Ryoko is very sentimental and has kept a photo album going throughout the years. Let’s look at some of her memories, shall we?

Aww, her first bottle of sake at the tender age of eight…hundred!

However, something spots Kiyone’s eye…an image of Ryoko and her Mother…

“This is the greatest mad scientist in the galaxy! Her name is Doctor Washu!”

“You must be joking!”

So, as per usual, Washu is behind everything. This leads to Mihoshi’s big speech. I have painstakingly transcribed it in all of its glory. Please, hold your applause until after you finish reading it:

“Doctor Washu…it’s fishy…really fishy! It’s so fishy I can smell it and it smells just like burning fish!”

“What?! It smells like burning fish?!”

Beautiful. 

“Yes! It smells like burning…”

“Huh?”

We have jarringly cut back to the real world where the REAL smell of burning fish has caused the story to stop. Of course, the real reason for this is to introduce Washu, who has been conspicuously absent up until this point. This is obviously because her character hasn’t been introduced in the special yet.

 

“Akkk! What is happening here?!”

Aw look, she needs a step stool to cook! How adorable! And I guess Ryoko inherited Washu’s ability to cook…

“These cooking devices are so primitive! I CAN’T MAKE THEM WORK!”

Comedy folks!

Well since this is a crime story starring a young woman looking for a criminal, Mihoshi knows enough that it takes a criminal to catch a criminal…

“Good morning Doctor Lecter. May I speak with you?”

“Yes, what do you want?”

Oh…sorry Doctor Lecter…I was doing a bit…you know, from Silence of the Lambs?

“Ah, I understand. Have a pleasant day.”

God I miss Hannibal.

Regardless, Mihoshi tries to appeal to Ryoko that she is a good person. Naturally, she takes the opportunity to escape and takes Tenchi along for good measure. Also naturally, Ayeka is pissed.

“What did you think you were doing, all of you?!”

Honestly, it worked out the same way for Clarice Starling too. This just means that you are one step closer to catching Buffalo Bill.

Kiyone…well, she hasn’t taken the situation well at all:

“There goes my chances for promotion.”

Vowing on her honor to get Tenchi back, our quartet manage to locate Doctor Washu’s fortress. How? I have no idea. They just do. So, what does Doctor Washu’s fortress look like?

Well, I mean technically Washu DID design the Soja, so it makes sense.

They even manage to INFILTRATE the ship. How? I don’t know. But there is something mighty familiar about this place…

Can’t you just hear Kagato’s Organ’s Recital playing?

“Just follow me everyone! Be quiet and careful.”

Mihoshi, your track record in this corridor isn’t exactly the best…discounting the fact that you are the reason why Washu broke free…actually never mind, your track record is pretty great here.

…I stand corrected.

It turns out that the floor is layered with an adhesive substance, which traps our heroes in what can be described as…Sasami, what am I thinking of?

“A giant roach motel!”

Thank you Sasami. So, who do we have left?

“What…what shall we do?”

Okay, we have the competent girl and her animal familiar (who I’m confident I also saw in Ryoko’s family pictures…interesting…). There is hope left after a…

Oh phooey.

How the hell did Doctor  Washu know to do that? Seriously, does she just leave a plate of carrots out JUST IN CASE? I don’t even know if Batman would be crazy prepared enough for that…aw, who am I kidding, of course he would!

So how long until Ryo-Ohki falls into a trap?

“Master Luke, you’re standing on the…”

Actually, it’s a nice blend of the Jabba the Hutt trap door and the Ewok trap that Chewie sprung. Am I reading into it? YEP!

Sasami and Ryo-Ohki then fall down this rabbit hole…

“I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads downward!”

 

Never has a moment felt so appropriate…though technically in this episode MIHOSHI should be Alice…

A little while later, our heroines awaken from being knocked out by a most familiar cackle. Mihoshi is the first to realize that they are…what the hell?

“We turned to Rome to sentence Nazareth. We have no law to put a man to death! We need him crucified; it’s all you have to do! We need him crucified; it’s all you have to do!”

Are you kidding me? Doctor Washu, you CRUCIFIED THEM?! This HAS to be why this never aired on Toonami. This is so mindboggling that I have to sit and think about this. Why the hell would this be so casually done? Is this a thing in Japanese culture? It’s not like One Piece where Zoro was introduced in a manner that looking like a crucifix.

LOOK AT THEM! ALL THEY ARE MISSING ARE NAILS IN THEIR WRISTS!

“Where am I?”

Golgotha, Mihoshi. You are at Golgotha.

“Everything has transpired has done so according to MY design!”

 “But you are a little too late. My great invention has already been completed. LOOK AT THIS!”

We have now reached the point where we see the only part of this Special to air on Toonami:

“This is it! The ultimate weapon!”

With that, we reveal Washu’s design: The Galaxy Destroyer. And…wow…it looks like the statue from Zardoz.

“Zardoz, speaks to you, his chosen ones. You have been raised up from brutality to kill the brutals that multiply and are legion. To this end, Zardoz, gave you the gift of the gun. The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds and makes new life to poison the earth with a plague of man, as once it was. But the gun shoots death and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill. Zardoz has spoken.”

That may be the most high-brow reference on this blog yet.

Tenchi, however, is being tied to a bed by Ryoko…forcefully.

“Now give yourself up honey!”

Jesus man. This Special is so blunt it hurts.

“You are so cute when you struggle!”

Seriously.

“Now I am sure you are wondering what this Galaxy Destroyer is…and I will show you!”

Vogt’s delivery made me laugh harder than it should have.

With a press of a button, we see what the Ultra Energy Matter makes the Galaxy Destroyer do: it grows hands!

…wait, what?

“Just relax little boy and leave it to big sister!”

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS SPECIAL?!

We then see a hand begin to stroke a rod:

No seriously, it strokes it for a second. NOTHING IS LEFT TO THE IMAGINATION HERE.

It turns out that Arthur Frayn here is actually grabbing two comical mallets that would be right at home in a Wack a Mole game. But what puts it over the top is Mihoshi’s narration:

“Now we were in a desperate situation: the crisis at hand, the destruction of the universe, and, of course, Investigator Tenchi’s chastity.”

I…this is off the wall insanity. What else could they possibly…

“Sasami! Wake up Sasami!”

WHY IS THE CABBIT TALKING?!

“Oh Ryo-Ohki! You’re safe!”

WHY IS THE CABBIT TALKING NOT A BIG DEAL?!

“Yup, but there’s no time to lose! We’ve got to save everybody! Now quick: transform into Pretty Sammy!”

WHAT IS PRETTY SAMMY?!

“Yup!”

WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

Then this happens:
 

WAIT! STOP THE SCREENCAPS! SASAMI IS NAKED! ACTUALLY NAKED! SOMEONE ANIMATED HER NAKED!

WHY IS THE LITTLE GIRL NAKED?! WHY DID SHE NEED TO BE NAKED?! BRAIN BLEACH! PURGE! PURGE! PURGE!

 

Dear God. This Special has broken me. I can’t handle Mihoshi logic.  I have no idea what is happening.

“I’ll be gentle! Yes I will!”

But before Ryoko can shake the dew off of Tenchi’s  lily, she finds herself on the receiving end of a swing by Sailor Jurai…err Sasami.

“God! Forgive me!”

“Let’s just sit back and watch the entire universe vanish into nothingness!”

Doctor Washu, your plan is stupid.

The Zardoz head hits the area in front of Mihoshi, causing the fabric of space and time to break away revealing a sublayer of reality!

Wait…what?

“How do you like it GP? When the darkness fills up this hall, the entire universe will cease to exist!”

What?

“Wait a second! If the universe is destroyed, you’ll cease to exist also!”

Thank you Kiyone for NOT being an idiot!

“Logic! The weakness of any scientist!”

“Who cares? As long as my power is recognized through the universe, I really don’t care! It doesn’t matter! So there! I. Don’t. Care!”

This is so stupid it hurts.

Dick Dasterdly has come up with better plans to cheat at Wacky Racers.

Doctor Washu continues to revel in her glory until something puts a stop to her laughter.

“I am the Hole in Things! I bring hell on Earth and to the world debasement!”

“Huh?”

“Pretty Sammy, I choose you!”

“…what the…”

No Krusty, don’t even bother. It’s not worth it.

The green light turns into Sailor Sasami who has Tenchi in tow. So, why is Sasami dressed like that?

“Just a magician who happened by! And your plot…you have to destroy the universe…it’s over as of now!”

Sammy Moon waves her wand around, which causes the crosses to disappear and frees our heroes.

“We were saved by the mysterious magician!”

Considering Sailor Moon wasn’t dubbed until 1995, the whole “magician” is a stand in for the term “Magical Girl.”

“What impudence! I’ll tell you this: magic is no match for science! Get them Mecha Ryoko!”

So, what does Mecha Ryoko look like? A giant Ryoko Gundam?

Oh…that’s disappointing…

Sasami says some gibberish and casts another spell on the plush dolls.

“Now its time for you little ones to wake up to love!”

I love Love. It was a well-made Beatles album and probably the last physical CD I ever bought. Its version of “Strawberry Fields Forever” is great. The way it goes from that song to “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” to “Piggies” to “Hello Goodbye” is genius.

“Can YOU see where this is going?”

“Heavens to murgatroyd! Exit, stage left even!”

Vogt then hams it up for a “YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!” speech, but Kiyone decides to stop her in her tracks. However, there is one problem…

“Enormous energy…enormous energy! I can’t get closer!”

Doctor Washu goes to push her Galaxy Destroyer button one final time, but Pretty Serena has one final trick up her sleeve:

“Baton flash!”

A little heart shaped energy boomerang appears and knocks the device out of the mad doctor’s hand, saving the day once and for all! Kiyone goes to grab the device. However, she isn’t the only one who notices it…

“That’s it! Remote control!”

Oh no. That can’t be good. To compound on that, Kiyone has managed to pull her weapon on Doctor Washu after acquiring the remote.

“And now for you Doctor Washu!”

And next…well…just read on…

“Surrender yourself!”

“Did I ever tell you about Big Mike? His ‘Top Gun?’ His ‘head banana?’”

“Walked right into that like a pro! You’ve done this before, am I right?”

 “Ahhhh!”

The force of the hit causes Kiyone to fall into the energy, plummeting to her death like Emperor Palpatine.

“R.I.P. Kiyone Makibi. She died as she lived: partner to Mihoshi.”

“In the special edition, Kajishima will insert a shot of Mihoshi yelling ‘Noooo!’”

And to drive home the similarities…

 “YAHOO!”

And so the day is saved (with Ryoko and Doctor Washu implied to be dead) which allows Mihoshi to pause and give Kiyone a proper eulogy:

“Oh thank you Kiyone. You sacrificed yourself and you saved all of us!”

"Beautiful..."

“But I wonder now…who is Pretty Sammy?”

“I wonder!”

Ah, the acceptable suspension of disbelief!

With that, our story has concluded and in an interesting twist, the entire house is asleep save Mihoshi and Ryo-Ohki.

“Good, brave Kiyone. I will never, ever forget your precious sacrifice!”

But then we are treated to this:

“MIHOSHHHHHIIIIII!!”

“I SWEAR!!!”

“I WILLL KILLLLLLLLL YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!”

So Kiyone is alive (with Sherry Lynn overacting like hell)…and is breathing in space…so was this all true? It is far easier to consider it a dream…

“But how can I? For in my hand, I hold the Bat-Radia!”

And that’s the Mihosh…

Wait, what’s going on in the credits?

It’s…a small Sasami movie? Set to a song SUNG BY SHERRY LYNN?! 

In this Special within a Special, Sasami has a crush on Tenchi, who is a construction worker I guess?

...okay...

They go to the beach and who is there but Ayeka and Ryoko!

Tenchi seems to like the flirting…

…but you forget Tenchi that Sasami don’t shiv:

Wait…are they dating?! This world is weird…as is the thought of lecherous Tenchi!

Tenchi and Sasami are next seen about to kiss in the snow when we are treated to another familiar face: Kiyone!

In a dominatrix get up? Didn’t I say that her refreshing attribute was that she WASN’T into that stuff?

She has two henchmen…and the one in the Grand Moff Tarkin uniform looks vaguely familiar…

Regardless, Kiyone kidnaps Tenchi…who I am not sure is upset by this.

 ...it is weird to see a Tenchi that shows interest in women.

Sasami goes to attack her but…OH DEAR GOD!

NO! NO! PURGE! PURGE! BRAIN BLEACH!

Why is that…THING here? They actually reused that design?! WHY?! This loathsome, purtrid person gets to appear in this and not someone like Yosho or Nobuyuki? The hell man?!

Now you have to be wondering, why there is a Sasami movie in a Mihoshi movie. Well we are treated to a familiar bit of animation…

NO!

“I will stop you in the name of Jurai!”

Yes, this is a Pretty Sammy short. There isn't supposed to be a story or anything. It is just a straight on parody of the Magical Girl genre. It originated as a part of a Japanese music video called Tenchi Muyo! Sound File, but was included here as well to reach a wider audience.

From her Doctor Wily flying machine…

No seriously. It’s a Doctor Wily flying machine.

…Kiyone attacks Sammy with all of her might while her minions pedal.

Put that…thing…to work Evil Kiyone!

Sammy uses her magical staff to summon…giant magical food?

…I don’t get Japan sometimes man.

The three…food monsters…combine into one giant monster…which turns into a giant freaking lightsaber!?

 

WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

Sammy uses the blade that is LARGER THAN JAPAN to stop Kiyone in her tracks.

 …wait, did she kill the creature? That almost makes this worth it!

Of course, Tenchi is alive and all is well and the two move in close to…wait…WHAT?!

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!

“Pretty Sammy will return in Magical Girl Pretty Sammy!”

Also, before I start the review, can I just point out that this song has odd lyrics:

“Thirsty you may be sometimes. Say the magic word and you will have a drink. Hungry you may be sometimes. Say the magic word and you’ll get everything you need!”

…I…let’s just move on…

REVIEW

How the hell do I review this thing?

This special is so freaking bizarre that even Grant Morrison would look at it, scratch his head, and eat some shrooms to try to decipher how to make this fit logically with any given Tenchi continuity. Between the Pretty Sammy stuff and the ludicrous Galaxy Destroyer, this can't be real in this universe.

Of course, it works because of the narrator: Mihoshi Kuramitsu.

This is an interesting character study on how Mihoshi views the world (post breakdown if we go by OVA standards). The opening says it all: this is a fairy tale told by Mihoshi. A space buddy cop/ magical girl/ romantic fairy tale.

How interesting, then, that this is the most adult Tenchi related thing I have reviewed.

Seriously, this Special takes the cake. Ryoko went to where Washu went in Episode Seven and kept on running. The language of the episode was surprisingly more mature than previous English dubbed productions of the show, with far more swearing and innuendo. It is a tad bit distracting to be honest. I'm honestly surprised that Sasami didn't start calling Ayeka a "bitch."

Speaking of, I never, NEVER, want to see Sasami naked again. I'm aware that this is an accepted thing in Magical Girl shows, but I can never unsee that.

Kiyone doesn't really do much beyond fill the role of Mihoshi's partner in this Special, but I can forgive that. She's there to be competent and to be stressed out by Mihoshi. On that front she succeeds.

There were a few oddities in this Special.

Okay, there were A LOT of oddities in this Special, but I am not talking about the story. The colors were darker and harder than any of the OVAs. Look at this picture of Sasami from this Special:

Now look at her from OVA 1 and 2:

See the difference? It's weird and a bit distracting.

The voice acting is also odd. Burchard is on her A Game, but Lynn's performance is all over the place, including the song. Look Sherry, everyone has one. This just happened to be your day.

"I will kill you one day for this. Slowly."

Please don't.

On the topic of Sherry Lynn, her Kiyone voice is basically her normal voice dropped a little bit. This was a hard voice for Lynn to maintain as the series went on. This special is a bit rough for her, as she is still figuring it out. However, she does a great job with it as a whole.

As for the story, dear god I wish I could have been in the writing room.

"So then the giant head starts hitting the walls of reality."

"Only Mihoshi could think of that!"

" Or a gallon of sake in our case! Hahaha!"

"That's all well and good, but where can we fit the scene of Sasami and Tenchi making out after she gets naked?"

"...What?"

"You know, the one after Kiyone uses her leather whip to capture Tenchi. I was very clear with what I  want my characters to do." 

"...Kiyone doesn't use a whip."

"Then Kiyone won't appear in my brand new OVA, and neither will you Hayashi! Put it in or the Special dies!"

"...I'll just stick it in the credits. Nobody will watch it anyway."

"You know what else this needs: Sasami on her period."

"...I quit."

And thus at long last we know how the split between Hayashi and Kajishima happened.

This Special is a lot like how a lot of people viewed the new Dragonball movies: I had no nostalgic ties to the story other than the classic cast. As such, it is one of the few things on this site I can view without any bias whatsoever (I am not saying I am a biased reviewer however. It is just a rare opportunity at this moment).

Except for this moment. I'm totally biased about this moment.

Honestly, there are things I like about this and there are things I dislike.

Shocker.

I like Washu as an over the top villain, regardless of how stupid her plan is. I like the fairy tale opening. It was cute and I wish more was done with it. I love Ryoko being a subtle video game fan.

I disliked the Pretty Sammy stuff. Since this post I actually sat down and watched the first season of Sailor Moon with my fiancée (the English dub from the 90's in all its crazy glory) so I get the appeal of the Magical Girl genre but this specific type isn't for me. Maybe if Pretty Sammy is used differently she could work.

But seriously, if Mihoshi was telling the truth about this, that means that there is a Magical Girl out there who may look like Sasami. That...is disconcerting.

 UPDATE: After a comment by our long time commenter Charlie claiming to have seen this Special on Toonami, I began a fierce quest to find out whether it was or not. Amazingly, I found the information from Jason DeMarco, cocreator of Toonami. This is what he had to say about it and the usage of the Washu clip in the promo:

"We never aired, nor had access to the special. I have no idea why a clip from it might have ended up in the promo. And we never aired it because... it's not very good!"

And there we go! I have to admit, the bit about them having no idea how a clip from the Special ended up in a promo is interesting. It also makes sense that this Special has different rights than the OVA, Universe, and Tokyo, given how this was not included when Funimation rereleased them on Bluray and DVD a few years back.

Regardless, I'm sorry Charlie. I'm sorry you had to hear this way.

"Aww...but..."

Look on the bright side, I'm finally able to include you as a reoccurring character in my reviews!

"You mean it?"

Anything for you buddy!

*UPDATE #2* So Charlie apparently lives in the UK, and all of my basis comes from Toonami USA. Everything I know is a lie and, from what I gathered, it DID indeed air on the International Channel over there. However, the full level of editing for the Special remains a mystery.

"Told you I saw it..."

And I was wrong to have doubted you.

Animation: It was weird to say the least. The colors are distracting but there was enough stuff for the animators to work with. I think they could have done more though, but I'm sure that a lot of this was stylistic to fit with Mihoshi's character. Also: naked Sasami: 12/20

Main Characters: Mihoshi was fine. This Special really takes the undertones of OVA 1's idea of Mihoshi being a ditz and runs with it. She isn't as competent as I would have liked for her to be. In the OVA, she got things done. Here? She kills Kiyone (maybe). Speaking of, Kiyone really didn't get a lot of time to shine, but her appearance was a good tease for the road ahead: 16/20

Supporting Characters: This is hard, as everyone else is really just exaggerated versions of themselves. I can't get mad at Sasami being rude because it's not Sasami. It was entertaining to see how the characters would be used and everyone had a moment to shine: 17/20

Music: Forgettable. The "Pretty Sammy" song is memorable for Sherry Lynn's vocals but the lyrics are just weird man. This is the first time I was not pleased with the musical selection of a Tenchi program: 10/20

Story: I...I really can't fault this story. It's stupid, it's bizarre, but damn it, it does its job. It's so weird that you need to see it. Screw it: 20/20

Overall Tenchi Rating: 72!

Star Wars References: 7!

Ayeka and Ryoko Verbal Sparring: 3 (in person!)

Now that we are done here, I think it's time to open up the Okuda books again and see what's going on in that world. Join...

"You."

Sherry Lynn!

"You don't get off that easily. I know you love the Okuda manga but after the crap you pulled here you don't get that privilege yet."

But...but you are praised regularly on this blog! Seriously, you are constantly mentioned as a highlight week after week.

"I know. That is why your punishment is only that you have to wait to get to the manga. Your next review should be quite interesting."

Really now. I'm afraid that I'm going to be stuck with something terrible for retribution.

"You shouldn't. I am merciful to my fans. Take some time and read this over. You'll appreciate it."

I...hmm?

Hexagram of Love? You want me to review the Hasegawa novel?

"Would you rather start GXP, because that technically came inbetween OVA 2 and 3..."

NO! This is actually something I've been looking forward to, unlike that. Join us next time when we review the greatest gift a fandom can provide: a translation of thefirst Haswgawa novel!